


Not Dating

by alafaye



Category: Marvel
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:23:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5046604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alafaye/pseuds/alafaye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're not.</p><p>Really.</p><p>They're not.</p><p>(Main relationship is Clint/Tony.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Dating

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2015 marvel_bang.
> 
> I'm posting a day late from the corner of shame.
> 
> Many thanks go to my very, very patient beta, dizzy_redhead. All remaining mistakes are my own.

Clint jumped off the building with a shout and shot the explosive dead center into the beam that Friday had told him to target. Repulsors fired behind him and his fight with gravity stopped with a sudden jerk as metal arms caught him. The charge went off and the building folded in on itself like some neat little animation. Clint whooped as the snarls of the Demolition Crew echoed over his comm link.

"We seriously need to have a talk about this," Tony said. "I'm going to rename you Princess Peach."

Clint sniffed. "I'm a self- rescuing princess, thank you very much."

"Except for the last ten ops where someone needed to get your butt out of harm's way," Nat reminded him.

"We'll put an ad in the paper," Kate teased. "Princess in need of hero. Superpowers optional."

"Suck it," Clint hissed.

"Language," Cap muttered.

"Dollar for the jar!" Bucky laughed.

"I'm sure swear jars don't work like that," Cap argued.

Tony dropped Clint off on the street and raised his arm just in time to hit the last of the Demolition Crew with a repulsor shot. "They don't, but we're having fun anyway."

"It's good for team morale," Clint added with a smile.

"Like taking bets on the next stupid stunt you pull," Nat said sweetly.

Clint, like the adult that he was, stuck his tongue out at her.

Cleanup was easy after that and the firemen thanked them for keeping the destruction to a minimum. 

"Thanks to Friday," Clint said pointedly.

"Thank you," Friday said. "I'm glad the new arrows I designed have helped."

"You mean that I designed?" Tony growled.

As they dissolved into bickering, the Avengers began to pile into the van that SHIELD had managed to get onto the street--limited as the destruction had been, the road to the battle was not clear yet. Unfortunately, there were more of the team than usual and Clint looked over his shoulder at Tony. "Can I get a ride?"

Tony huffed, but it sounded fond. "At least you asked nicely this time."

"Ah, honey, you only had to ask," Clint teased with a wink.

~~~

"They--" _thud_ "--really--" _thud_ "--make these--" _crashing, laughter_ "--closets big."

Clint arched his back just enough and-- "There, right fucking there, Stark."

Tony squeezed Clint's hips harder and reached around to wrap his hand where Clint was stroking his dick. Clint whined and his head fell back onto Tony's shoulder. There was, inexplicably, a pencil stuck in the ceiling. 

"Come on, Princess," Tony growled, nipping Clint's shoulder. "Need to feel it, feel you squeezing me when you come."

Clint bit his lip and fucked his hand just a little faster and Tony hit that sweet spot just right and he was spilling over their hands onto a shelf that held at least ten different types of notepads. Well, at least it was going to be easy to clean up.

Tony swore and thrust a few more times before he froze, filling the condom. Panting, he laughed. "Seriously, though. Did they design these things with extra-curricular activities in mind?"

"SHIELD takes the happiness and well being of its employees very seriously," Clint quoted.

Tony slowly pulled out and Clint winced when lube followed. At least there wouldn't be any spunk back there. Cloth rustled as Clint tried his best to clean up the spunk on the shelf and then there was a handkerchief being shaken in front of his face. He raised an eyebrow. "Did you--"

"I touched your junk. Don't get weird about it now," Tony taunted.

Clint chuckled, but took the handkerchief. A quick rub down and he buttoned up his pants. "So, that was good."

Tony waved his hand. "Don't. It was good, fun, maybe next time we can do it somewhere with a bed."

And with that, he was gone.

Clint was only a moment behind him because, huh. That had happened. And it had been damn good.

Yeah, a next time might be good.

~~~  
There was...a lot of yawning going on right now. But that was okay. Well, no, not really, because most of them were still holding glasses and some weren't wearing shoes and no one wanted to be stepping on glass, not after a four-day-long mission. Clint was reasonably sure it had been four days anyway. And in between one blink and the next--or, really, one yawn and the next--Tony was standing next to him, without a drink in hand. Clint narrowed his eyes.

"I've been told that you without a drink is not a good thing," Clint began. "Usually involving some stupid stunt that you pull off on your own and which might involve your death and lots of explosions."

"When did you become best friends with Pepper and Rhodey?" Tony asked.

Clint pointed at Natasha, who was talking to Bucky. Steve, interestingly, was not attached to Bucky at the hip. Weird. But none of Clint's business. Not right now, anyway.

"Nat is best friends with Pepper," Clint explained.

Tony's face screwed up in terrified thought. "Maybe I should get Friday to work on a scenario of what to do when they decide to rule the world."

Clint waved his hand. "Friday would laugh at you. She's best friends with Darcy who is also friends with Jane. And you know who Jane's close with? Nat and Pepper both. And Jane would do anything to make Darcy happy. Do you see?"

"This is what I did not miss about not going to a regular high school," Tony said eventually after parsing through all of that.

"Think of it as catching up on what you did miss," Clint said wisely. "I feel the same way, though. I mean, everyone is always focusing on us, the guys. But the women we work with? Man, I would never want to get on their bad side. I mean, for one, they have all the gossip to blackmail you with. For another, they have access to all the nice toys. And if they don't? Well, there's always the blackmail."

Tony frowned. "You have given this way too much thought."

"It's a logical progression. I've known since I picked up Nat on the streets of Europe to not get on her bad side. I know who she likes to hang around with and the rest of the puzzle slots together, nice and neat."

Tony shakes his head. "Well, in the interest of keeping us all safe, I vote you and I have sex so I don't lose my balls by hitting on any of the girls I shouldn't. And for the record, right now, after this, I don't know who is fair game and who isn't."

Clint finished his beer. "Who says I'm fair game?"

Tony raised an eyebrow. "My understanding of your love life was that you're always fair game, one way or another."

"So they told you about the mob boss' wife?"

"Wait, who?"

"Then who were you talking about?"

Tony sighed. "When I came home, I was exhausted, hungry, in need of a good drink, and horny. I ate and had a few glasses of scotch and right now, I'm hoping to have a good fuck before falling asleep for three days. So, sex?"

Clint shrugged. "Sure. Sex."

~~~

"I thought you and Tony were a thing?" Kate asked as she watched the news, sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table. She had a bowl, milk, and a box of cornflakes on the table. Clint was pretty sure she was going to eat the entire box.

"Long trip?" he asked, eying the cornflakes.

She glared. "Shut up. I like 'em. And since I know you hate them and have them in your apartment, what does that say about you?"

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

She smiled, almost shark-like, before pointing at the TV. "Your boyfriend was caught stepping out with three other women this last month."

"He's not my boyfriend," Clint said. Lucky lifted his head, tail wagging. The pizza Clint had ordered must have arrived.

"But Nat said you two left the after party together after the last three-day mission," Kate said.

Clint paid the pizza guy, gave Lucky the first slice, and put the pizza on the coffee table. Kate pushed it far away from herself and Clint sat down at the corner where it ended up. It wasn't a good idea, Lucky was known to take the whole box, but Clint didn't have enough energy care. He had just spent the last twenty hours doing repair work in the apartments. It seemed like once he had one down, it was time for the next one. Hopefully the repairs were good. But he was getting better at it, doing the work. Especially after a few helpful hours on YouTube.

"So?" Kate pushed. "You and Stark?"

"Twice," he admitted. "It was only the two times and we've both agreed that if it happens, it happens, but it isn't anything."

She watched him with that look that he swore she learned from Nat. "So you're, what? Like those girls he saw?"

He ate some of the pizza, thought it over. "Suppose I am."

She tapped her spoon against the bowl. "I don't know if I like that."

He blinked. "I'm the one having sex with him."

She sighed. "You're worth more than a quick fuck with one of the biggest playboys of the century."

"What bothers you more, Kate? That your mentor slept with Tony Stark or that he's okay with being a notch on the bedpost?"

She snorted. "If you're a notch on his bedpost, I suggest you find a better class of people to fuck."

He rolled his eyes and offered her the box of pizza. She grumbled, but took a slice. Lucky also took another. Clint stared down at what had been his dinner and was now only part of a dinner. At least he had bought coffee yesterday.

~~~

Thing was, Clint didn't mind too much about the people he did have sex with. Honestly. Sure, sex was something that he didn't exactly plan most of the time, but he wasn't discriminatory about it. It was kind of why his relationships didn't last too long. Sex was sex.

"Hawkeye," Daredevil greeted, stepping out of an alley.

Clint nodded at him. "Evening."

"Heard through the grapevine you wanted some help," Daredevil said. "Russians?"

Clint shrugged. "Decided to be bit preemptive this time."

"As opposed to finally finding your courage when they've fucked with you?" Daredevil taunted.

Clint wrinkled his nose. "I heard that you needed help with them, too."

"So, we're in agreement?" Daredevil grinned.

Clint tapped in a code for an arrow and nocked it. "After you."

~~~

"So, fucking in the warehouse we raided was not a good idea," Matt groaned as he sat up.

Clint tried to stretch, but his entire body _ached_. "I'm not sure if it was the beating I took or the sex that hurt more."

Matt chuckled, but it was cut off with another groan. "Tape me up?"

Clint huffed. "I need, like, a bottle of whiskey and a bottle of aspirin, but sure."

"Tape me up and I'll get you a glass of liquor and a few aspirin," Matt countered.

Clint pretended to think it over. "Fuck it, I'm that easy."

"Oh, I know how easy you are."

Clint tried to hit him, but Matt ducked and threw the medical tape at him. Clint sighed, but forced his muscles to move so he could sit up and play nurse. You learned a thing or two after a while, especially when going to the ER was just too much work or not worth it.  
Clint and Matt usually fell on the side of didn't want to rather than it being too much work, but that was why they worked well together on the streets. Not so much otherwise, but yeah.

"It's Saturday, right?" Clint asked as he finished taping Matt's ribs.

Matt hummed and slowly stood up. With just Clint there, he didn't bother with his cane; just walked to the living room to pour Clint the promised glass of whiskey and to grab the aspirin. Clint followed at a halting pace, keeping weight off his left leg (one of the floor boards had cracked when they had enjoying the post-fight high), and thinking of only getting back into bed. But he had to go back home soon and if he got back into bed, he wouldn't get out until he'd slept again.

"You got something in mind?" Matt asked.

"Wondered if you wanted to go back to mine," Clint answered. "Two beat-up super heroes are better than one."

"I don't think the Russians are going to bother you again anytime soon," Matt said.

Clint dry swallowed four aspirin and drank the whiskey in one swallow. Matt held out some crackers and Clint reluctantly took them. He'd never hear the end of it otherwise. "You never know what they're going to do."

Matt was quiet for a moment. "Your boyfriend going to be there?"

Clint froze. "Boyfriend?"

"Stark?" 

Clint's shoulders dropped. "Does everyone know we fucked?"

"Oh, was that all it was? Clint, Stark doesn't do fucks like that. Sure, maybe he'll do someone for a full week, but two separate times, weeks apart? That's Stark in a relationship."

"Close-knit community we are," Clint muttered.

"So you're not in a relationship with him?"

"Would I have fucked you otherwise?"

Matt laughed. "Clint, if there's one other thing we gossip about, it's how you aren't monogamous."

Clint blinked. "Coming home with me or not?"

Matt shrugged. "Sure. Sounds like you need someone around anyway."

"That sounds worrying."

"If you like."

"Slippery, Murdock. Very slippery."

"I'm a lawyer. We're all a bit like that."

"Ew."

~~~

Bruce was back.

Clint sipped his post-Avenging beer, eyes narrowed. "When did he come back to New York?" he asked Nat.

Curled up next to him, she tapped her finger on her glass of wine. "Last night, or so Friday says."

Clint scrunched up his nose. "On his own?"

"Stark left here at ten and didn't come back until two with Bruce in tow," Nat reported. "He didn't take his suit and there are no reports of any aircraft lifting out of here or coming back. There are also no records of Banner coming through any airport."

"Boat?" Clint offered. "I mean, lots of people come here in cargo crates."

"Maybe," Nat mused. "Glad he was here though."

Thinking of the giant bats that had swarmed the city at the peak of rush hour, Clint had to agree. "I did miss all the smashing."

Tony laughed and wrapped an arm around Bruce who looked wary but comfortable with the touch. Nat hummed. "He does like the dangerous ones."

Clint smirked. "Good news for me."

"You like it?" she asked, voice quiet.

Clint shrugged. "Sort of? I mean, the sex is great."

She sighed. "Make sure to clean up the mess when you're done."

He frowned as she left, trying to figure out what she meant.

~~~

Tony was in his doorway. Frowning. Holding a bag of what smelt like Indian. Clint wondered if that was Bruce's influence. "Your building still sucks."

Clint blinked at him. "Are we assembling?"

"I'd have sent someone else for that," Tony answered. "I'm actually here for a social call."

Clint turned and walked into the kitchen. "I've only got beer."

"Good enough," Tony replied, closing the door. "You like Indian, right?"

"I'm weird enough I'll eat almost anything," Clint answered.

Tony started opening cartons on the counter as Clint opened two beers. They forwent plates or any decorum and just ate what they liked, sometimes hitting the others fork. Eventually, Clint told him, "Everyone thinks we're...dating."

"Worse than the gossip rags," Tony pointed out. "All talk and no substance. Two fucks does not dating make."

Clint raised an eyebrow. "And this?"

"I could show up next time and just ask if you want to fuck," Tony countered, a little defensively.

Clint thought about Tony in his tower. In the labs. About how Friday liked to be out and about rather than stuck playing lab assistant. Wondered why Tony thought that Clint was a good person to hang out with when there are a lot more people, classier people, that Tony could have gone to. Considered Bruce, but Bruce was probably still settling in and not in any mood to talk. Even to Tony. Wondered if maybe that was the point.

"I've got some really trashy reality shows on my DVR," Clint said eventually.

"Sold," Tony grinned.

Two episodes in, Clint couldn't stop himself. "Just so I don't step on any giant green toes, I gotta ask. You and Bruce?"

"Hmm? Oh, Bruce. It's...complicated."

Clint frowned. "Complicated in a way that might mean I get smashed next call out?"

"I told him straight up that I'm not available for a one on one kind of deal," Tony said quietly. "And I'm sure someone is going to fill him in on the good gossip."

"Me and you?"

"Yeah."

Clint thought it over. "I can...we agreed that if sex happens, it happens, but I'm cool with not. I can set the boundaries if you need me to."

"Nah, it's cool," Tony said eventually. "I can't be tied down, okay? It's why I like having sex with you. You know how it goes."

"I'm sorry, but are you insulting me?"

Tony groaned. "I just meant that you understand that sex sometimes happens and sometimes it doesn't. That sometimes just hanging out is just hanging out, nothing attached. Like I said the first time, don't make it weird."

Clint sighed, but he had to admit, he did prefer things that way. At least this way, no one was going to come after him for cheating or forgetting an anniversary. "Won't. Next episode?"

"Thank you! Yes, please."

~~~

Clint cautiously poked the wall of rubble blocking their path out. "Why do these things always happen to us?"

"Because you and the other guy like buildings that are falling apart?" Bruce offered.

Clint went back to the bit of fire that Bruce had managed to start--with only office supplies--and sat down. "At least there isn't a blizzard happening out there." He absently rolled the stupid geek dice thingie he'd found when scouting the space for supplies. It was shiny and distracting.

Bruce chuckled. "I've been there. It's not something I want to repeat."

Clint tucked the stupid dice thing into a pocket and wrapped his arms around his knees. "Hopefully we'll be found before we start playing rock-paper-scissors for who gets to eat whom."

Bruce squinted his eyes. "I can't tell if you're joking."

"Joking," Clint said. "Not that I'd want to take my chances on that."

Bruce smirked. "You and Tony. Joking around about the big guy. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I get it, he's scary. I wouldn't want to be on his bad side and yeah, I know, with him sometimes all sides are bad. But he's got his good points. He has saved lives."

Bruce poked at the fire warily. "That's why I came back, you know."

"I'm glad. You and he both need more friends."

Bruce poked a bit more forcefully at the fire. "I...mm, Tony told me about you and him. After everyone else did, of course, but he did."

Clint winced. "I might've had something to do with that. I didn't want to step on any toes."

"I kind of blew up my chances."

"But Tony wants to give you another one."

"And you'd let me?"

Clint sighed. "Bruce, Tony and I...you'd get him if I let him go, but we're not dating. And Tony? Tony just ends up in other people's beds, by accident and sometimes on purpose. You could get him if you asked, but he wouldn't be faithful. He wouldn't do it to hurt you, it's just the way he is."

After a moment, Bruce looked up. "I don't want anything right now. Friends are good, but a relationship? I can't. I'm too..."

Clint shrugged. "Whatever, man. It's your life."

Bruce cleared his throat. "Just in the interest of not stepping on your toes, if Tony and I...?"

Clint raised his eyebrows. "Are you telling me that Tony hasn't managed to get you in bed yet?"

Bruce blushed and Clint smirked. "That's what I thought. I told you, Tony and I aren't dating. We sometimes have sex and we've hung out a few times, but that's it. We're...not anything really."

"Good. Good, I'm glad." 

A few moments later, Clint had to ask. "So no relationships, but sex?"

"I'm sure you've realized that saying no to Tony is near impossible."

"Hey, I like sex. Sex is good. If it's on offer and you like the person, why not?"

"An equal opportunist, I see." 

After another moment, Bruce cleared his throat. "Looks like we'll be down here for a while."

"Yep. Why, you asking?"

"In the interest of making it clear to Tony that I am not expecting more..."

"Playing the playboy. Interesting."

"So?"

"Fuck it. You and I? He's probably jerked off thinking about it."

"Lube? Condom?"

"Always prepared."

~~~

Tony pounced on Clint once he had been cleared by medical. Clint had a brief moment of wondering if he somehow picked out the ones who liked office fucks or if they just picked him out. Maybe it was both. Or maybe it was a SHIELD thing. Clint hadn't been in many offices prior to his employment with SHIELD, but he hadn't ever been with anyone before who liked office fucks.

"Bruce told me," Tony growled. "How did you fucking know?"

Clint smirked. "You're not hard to suss out, you know. Especially when it comes to sex."

Tony bit Clint's lip and pulled out supplies from his pocket. "Now?"

"That turned on, are you?" Clint asked, turning around. 

Tony laughed. "Like you wouldn't believe. Should tell you though, in the interest of full disclosure--"

"You just fucked Bruce?" Clint finished. "Kind of figured."

"God, I love being me."

Clint laughed. "So you know that hard-on you've got for Steve?"

Tony froze. "Don't tell me." He sounded like he was on the verge of coming.

Clint looked over his shoulder and smirked. "Not Steve, but definitely Bucky. Less than six degrees of separation."

Tony's face looked exactly like it did when he was coming. Clint wiggled his ass. "So, about that sex?"

Tony was very good at pouncing.

~~~

Bucky picked off the Doombot heading for Steve. Clint picked off one heading for Nat. As they both reloaded, Bucky cleared his throat.

Clint raised an eyebrow. "You got something to say, say it."

"Just wondering why you thought it was a good idea to tell Tony," Bucky said.

Oh. That. "Is that why Steve's been about twenty feet away from Tony all day?"

Bucky huffed. "And why I've been banished to the couch for the last week."

Clint frowned and picked off another Doombot. "Why? It's not like you've been cheating."

"Apparently I should have better taste than to fuck someone with no brains," Bucky explained.

Clint frowned. "I've got plenty of brains."

"Not enough to keep your mouth shut around Tony," Bucky pointed out.

Thinking it over, Clint realized that Bucky might have a point. "Sorry."

"Birdbrain," Bucky said. He took out the last Doombot and Steve saluted him from the street. Bucky smirked and lifted his gun up off the stand.

Clint walked around and picked up the empty casings. Bucky cleared away their prints. "I thought Steve knew that your tastes aren't so discriminatory?" Clint asked.

Bucky snorted. "Doesn't change the fact that he's got a temper."

Clint chuckled. "So the make up-sex is gonna be good?"

Bucky sighed, but it was fond. "Oh, yeah. Tonight, I think."

Clint stopped, thinking back to previous fights and the like. "That salute?"

"It's almost like you know sign language," Bucky teased.

Clint groaned and threw a casing at him.

~~~

There was a green woman on his doorstep. Pretty hot, but green. Also, sort of familiar, but only in the way she was eying him up. He raised an eyebrow. "I know there's some kind of official documentation I should ask for if you want to rent an apartment, but I think I can forgo it if you're from off planet. Well, maybe I'll take something from MIB, but hey, SHIELD employee here, got to think of the office politics."

She narrowed her eyes. "I don't have time for this. I'm here for an item that could possibly destroy this planet. Where is it?"

He opened his door further and waved her in. "I have no idea what it is. I'm kind of a magpie, though, so I've got a lot of weird things around here."

She eyed Lucky. He shrugged. "So, what are we looking for?"

She sighed. "It changes shape. It could be anything."

He frowned and tapped his lips with a finger. "Oh, yeah. Lucky, get that stupid whatsit that you were chewing on the other day."

Lucky sat and tilted his head. The woman growled. "That he's been chewing on?"

He shrugged. "How was I supposed to know it would blow up the planet?"

She shook her head. "Terrans. It's a wonder your species has survived."

Since Lucky was going to be of no help, Clint started walking around the room. "Terrans? Terrans...I know that word."

"It means people from this world," she hissed, wrinkling her nose as she opened drawers and shifted stuff around to find the item.

"Hey, no need to be mean. I got that much. You're all green, so not of this world, and that sentence? Yeah, I've heard that before."

"I'm sure you did. Right before someone shot you."

He grinned. "It's like you're one of us."

"Never."

He straightened, putting his hands on his hips. "Well, since you tracked it here, does your device tracker thing know where it is in here?"

She studied him, that considering look Nat gave him when she was decided if it was worth it to kill him. What Alien Girl said next definitely confirmed that they could be sisters.

"I'm trying to decide if it would be easier to find this if you were incapacitated."

He shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not. Want to find out?"

~~~

Clint crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his head toward Tony, but he kept an eye on the man that Tony had arrived with. He'd introduced himself first with a smirk and a considering look and then his name. Peter was human and was pretty enough that Clint could see the appeal. "Him?"

Tony grinned. "Oh, yeah. Learned a thing or two about sex off world."

"Later?" Clint asked with a grin.

Tony wiggled his eyebrows and Clint chuckled. The green skinned woman—Gamora, as it turned out--glared at him. He threw her a kiss (the sex had been _amazing_ ). She squared her shoulders and looked away. 

"Her?" Tony asked with unchecked glee.

Clint shrugged. "Off world sex."

Tony groaned and leaned against him. "Later is going to be amazing."

Peter winked at them.

Clint hummed thoughtfully. "Think we can convince them to stay for a foursome?"

Tony's eyes widened. "Peter?!"

"Boys!" Gamora hissed.

"Yes, Tony. Later, definitely," Peter agreed.

"I ought to leave you three here while it goes off," Gamora bit out. She twisted something, though, on the stupid thing Clint had picked up (ages ago, when it had been a big dice shaped thing) and the lights on it finally went out. Clint kind of missed the shiny thing it had done.

Gamora sighed and stuffed the item into a bag. "Now, let's get to the ship and--"

"Can't," Peter admitted sheepishly. "Rocket dropped me off--said he wanted to try Terra liquor."

Tony's and Clint's phones both went off.

~~~

Phil was watching very carefully as Tony and Clint regretfully said their goodbyes. Hey, good sex was good sex.

Peter handed Nat a communication device. "I gave them both one, but they said to give you one, too?"

Nat sighed, an affectionate tone to it. "Tony will strip his to find out how it works and Clint will lose his."

Peter raised his eyebrows; Tony and Clint shrugged, shamelessly and sheepishly, respectively.

Gamora shook her head and smiled at Nat. "It was a pleasure to work with you. I hope to again in the future."

Nat kissed her cheek. "And next time you can work with Bucky, too."

Clint shared a look with Phil. Tony looked worried.

Well, that was the future. Plenty of time to have fun before the planet became a wasteland.

~~~

"Where are we?" Clint asked, blinking against the sun that was shining right in his eyes.

"Somewhere near the equator, but my tech is rebelling against all this sand," Tony bit out, poking at his suit.

"It's everywhere, get used it," Clint quipped.

Tony looked at him. "That was...terrible."

"You know what else gets sand everywhere?" Clint asked with a smirk.

Tony shuddered. "Don't even. I had sex once on the beach and vowed never again."

Clint sighed. "So, twenty four hours until anyone can find us, right?"

"Probably."

"And your tech isn't working, right?"

"Where are you going with this?"

Clint pillowed his head on his arms and flexed his muscles. "Thinking that that's plenty of time for me to convince you otherwise."

Tony let out a triumphant sound and smirked. "I've just connected with the nearest satelite. Guess what's about a mile that way?"

Clint looked over. "Coconut trees?"

Tony looked at Clint for a long moment. Clint shrugged. Tony shook his head. "Hotel. Fancy five star one according to the reviews."

Clint frowned, but thought about it. "Room for a week?"

Tony's eyes lit up. "Are you suggesting that we play hookey for a week? Why, I never, Mr. Barton."

Clint smiled smugly. "I know, Mr. Stark. I know."

~~~

Bucky looked Clint up and down when they arrived back in New York City--after getting a boat from the island to Florida and then from a private airport there back home. Home with all it's weird smells and sights and sounds. Clint breathed deep once he was out of the plane. Tony had laughed at him, but even he looked more comfortable back on the grungy sidewalks. Clint was tanned head to toe with zero tan lines, but he still had sand in his ass crack. Tony kept griping about the sand in his crotch, but he had no room to complain. Clint wasn't the one who had dragged him down to the beach to find out if sex on the beach was that good or, as Tony had predicted, that bad.

They both agreed, though. Never again.

"Stark again?" Bucky asked.

Clint huffed. "It's not--"

Bucky held his hands up. "Don't. Though I do hope you know what you're doing."

Clint looked over to the enclosed space where Steve was laying into Tony, likely about the week of no communication other than 'Gone for a week. We're all good.' 

"I think I do, anyway."

Bucky's laugh was loud enough to carry to Steve, who now turned his anger toward Clint.

"And I'm out," Clint muttered, saluting Bucky clumsily.

Bucky just kept laughing.

~~~

"Spidey, love of my life, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Deadpool asked, tilting his head and eying the electrical relays.

"Marriage? No!" Spiderman said.

Deadpool turned, his excitement visible even with his mask covering his face. "So you've thought about it, too! I am so excited, Spidey. So excited. I'm thinking red and blue--they're your colors and--"

"Relays?" Clint prompted, getting sick of these sidetracks. He'd known that Deadpool had a thing for Spiderman, but at this point, he was completely done with the weird flirting thing they had going on.

"Man says love of his life, what else am I supposed to think?" Spiderman defended himself. He examined the panel and then the keypad next to it.

"I don't care," Clint pointed out. "I just want to finish this mission and go home."

"To your engineer?" Deadpool asked. "Is he really that good?"

"Who?" Clint asked, thrown off.

"Stark?" Deadpool asked, sounding just as confused.

Clint groaned and rubbed his face. "Mission. Not gossip."

"Why not?" Spiderman asked. "I like talking and gossip is better than Deadpool planning our never-going-to-happen marriage."

"Oh, Spidey, how you break my heart!" Deadpool cried. "We could be ever so good together!"

Spiderman opened the keypad and pulled a few wires. The power went down and Clint cheered. "Finally. Exit, now, please?"

"On it!" Deadpool cried, running down the hall as doors strong enough to stop a bomb began sliding closed behind them. Paranoid though their target was, it would at least get them the cover they needed to get out without getting shot. As Deadpool set a bomb charge, Clint and Spiderman waited. And gossiped. Because, yeah, they all were that bad.

"You and him?" Clint asked.

"You and Stark?" Spiderman countered.

Clint shrugged. "He's good. Great even. But not...we're not dating."

Spiderman sighed. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

Clint froze. "Wait, so you and Deadpool?"

"Wait, what? I'm talking about my girlfriend!"

Deadpool ran back to them. "What girlfriend? Are you cheating on me, Spidey?" The bomb exploded, giving them an exit.

"How can I be cheating on you when we're not even dating?" Spiderman yelled.

Clint pushed them both to the exit. Spiderman offered his arm to Deadpool who sniffed and walked toward Clint. "I'm leaving with him. You've hurt me, Spidey, you have."

Spiderman huffed and wrapped his arm around Deadpool. "As if I'd let anyone else carry you out."

"So you do care?!"

Clint muttered under his breath about idiots in love and shot a grappling arrow off. He, unfortunately, caught the tail end of their conversation when he landed. Shortly after, Deadpool tried to carry him off to wherever he lived. Clint was pretty sure he didn't want to find out...but he also kind of did. 

Yeah, he had problems. But right now? The problems weren't even his fault. At least, he thought so.

~~~

"So, you guys good now?" Clint asked, standing by the bed and holding his shirt.

Deadpool, still wearing his mask, stretched and smirked. "Oh, yeah. Good all the way."

Spiderman, also still wearing his mask--and Clint was seriously wondering why he had slept with two people who had kept their masks on for sex--sighed. "No."

Deadpool sat up and Clint sat down on the foot of the bed with a groan.

"Are you kidding me?" Deadpool begged. "We were made for each other! You know it."

"I kind of have a girlfriend!" Spiderman argued.

~~~

"Just leave them," Kate said.

"Can't. They might physically hurt each other," Clint argued.

"Then why did you call me?"

"What do I do?"

"I'm hanging up. Don't call me again."

~~~

"More sex?" Tony said hesitantly.

"Best idea I've had, except I've already tried!"

"Wait, how many times? Gotta tell you, Spiderman's ass is kind of hot in spandex. Is it as good out of it?"

"That is my boyfriend you're talking about, Stark!"

"How can he even hear me?"

"Got to go!"

~~~

Spiderman was grinning as he held open the door for Clint. "Thank you."

Clint held up his hands. "You can thank me by not doing this to me again."

"Agreed," Deadpool said, clinging to Spiderman's shoulders. "I'm kind of possessive."

"Yeah, got that," Clint muttered.

"But threeway on a mission, that I'd definitely love to do again," Deadpool said. "You're very inventive with those arrows."

Clint shrugged. "I do try."

Deadpool's hands disappeared and Spiderman blushed bright red. "So, later?"

Clint rolled his eyes as the door closed. "Weirdos."

~~~

"Glow balls of doom?" Clint asked, tilting his head from side to side, studying the photos that had been included with the debrief packet.

"Supposedly," Hill corrected. "It's happening in the middle of nowhere which means that there wasn't anyone nearby who could run a scan on them and we only have the guy's shouts to go by."

"What's he want?" Steve asked.

Hill sighed. "Better funding for the high school he teaches at. Specifically for the arts and sciences."

Tony hissed, looking over the packet. "A fifty percent cut would make anyone go crazy."

"Unfortunately for us and the small town, the one who did go crazy was the one who had access to his grandfather's old World War One mementos. Or so he says."

"Lots of misinformation," Bucky pointed out. "Are you sure about sending us in?"

Hill nodded. "We asked the town before making the call. They'd rather send in too much force than not enough."

"I'll start a scan as soon as we're in range," Tony said.

Steve put his cowl on. "Bucky, Clint. I want you both as far back as you can go, keep him in your sights. Tony, stay on the edge of the fight. Don't go in unless I call for you. Nat, you and I are going to see if we can talk him down. Got it?"

~~~

Post-cleanup, Clint was paired up with Tony to scope out the guy's lab and house. Even though it looked more like an office, they'd already cleared the labs at the school so the weapons had to have been made here. Clint left the house and paced the porch.

"And this house has been in his family for years?" Clint asked.

"Or so the town hall records say," Tony confirmed. "Why?"

"Well, where would you hide possibly volatile war mementos from your family?" Clint asked, looking around. "I wouldn't keep them in the house. Too big a risk."

Tony turned to the barn. "Got it. The barn is empty, but throwing off the same signatures that the spheres were."

Pleased, Clint crossed the lawn as Tony flew ahead and opened the door. It hadn't housed any farm animals recently, if the lack of smell was anything to go by, and there, away from the door, was a rather well set up lab. Lined up on a metal bench were three more of the glowing spheres.

Tony picked one up. "They're nothing special. Radioactive, yes, but no more than the sun outside. They're all good."

"Explosive?" Clint asked.

"Want to find out?"

~~~

"You know, I think getting drunk while there're explosive arrows around is not a good idea."

"I'm drunk enough not to care?"

"Sir, I have to remind you _again_ that I have a directive from Jarvis' files to stop you before something bad happens. Or tell Pepper."

"Ouch. Why, Friday?"

"Want to fuck instead?"

"Not in the lab. Pepper will be notified, Sir."

"Mood killer. Barton, a bed waits for us upstairs."

"Couch? I like couches."

"Oh, God, yes. Go, now. I want to ride you."

~~~

Pepper frowned, tilting her head as she stared at the footage.

Nat sighed and tapped her tablet. She was, again, undercover as Pepper's assistant. At this point, everyone thought they were on again, off again, but it was handy when Nat needed to hide. (That there was a grain of truth to the rumor was neither here nor there.) "I'd rather not ask."

"Friday?" Pepper called. "Dare I ask what they got up to last night?"

"They did follow all the directives left by Jarvis," Friday reported. "I had to remind them to not play with explosive arrows while drunk and that there was to be no sex in the lab while the arrows were still out in the open, but they did leave the lab."

"I do worry about him," Nat muttered.

Pepper didn't have to ask which of them she meant. Not that none of them worried about Tony, but he at least knew better than to want anything stable, like a relationship. Clint, on the other hand... Pepper sat back in her chair. "Is it time to stage an intervention?"

Nat shook her head. "We won't have to. Clint should be asking me soon what's going on."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh, yes. Benefits of being the work wife as long as I have been. Two weeks, tops."

Pepper frowned. "There's a lot that can go wrong in two weeks. Especially since it's them."

"Oh, I know. I've got Bucky and Sam on top of it. And Friday is always keeping an eye on them, no matter what she tells Tony."

Pepper bit her lip. "As long as you're sure."

"Keep Stark Industries going and I'll keep them in line."

"You do know how to make me feel better."

"Always, ma'am. Now, HR want you to look over these..."

~~~

Tony was having a stare-off with Lucky.

He was losing. 

Badly.

Clint sipped his coffee. "Give it up. He won't stop."

Tony wrinkled his nose. "I've had a long week, dog, and you cannot have the couch. I need it."

Clint brought Tony his coffee and lifted Tony's feet so he could sit at the other end of the couch. Tony turned his glare onto Clint and that was it for Lucky. A scuffle started between the three of them; there was some yelling and coffee flying everywhere and in the end, both Clint and Tony were on the floor. Lucky was completely sprawled out on the couch.

"I hate you."

Tony threw down the new game he had brought. "Shut up and turn on the game system."

~~~

Clint frowned when he realized what he was smelling was chlorine. "Did we fall asleep in a pool?"

"Again?" Tony mumbled. He groaned and rolled over, face planting onto Clint's chest. "Smells like it."

Clint opened his eyes only to narrow them when he saw a large faux diamond in Tony's hair. "Vegas, man."

Tony chuckled and lifted his head. "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."

Clint smirked. "Shower?"

Tony frowned, thinking it over. "Sex first."

Clint blinked. "We smell like we took a few laps in a pool, I'm sure we both look like we've been on a three day bender, and you want to fuck?"

Tony rolled his hips against Clint's and yeah, that was quite the morning wake-up. Clint rolled them so Tony was on his back with Clint straddling his hips. "Lube?"

Grinning, Tony reached over to the nightstand.

~~~

After they'd showered, gone back to Manhatten, and slept some more, Clint stomped out of the shower, sans clothes or a towel. Tony tilted his head. "And a good morning to me. Why can't you do this more often? I like this, you all wet and naked."

"Shame, Stark," Clint said tiredly. He pointed at the ceiling. "She says that since you won't get going, she's going to haze me until you get dressed and go to whatever meeting Pepper needs you to."

Tony frowned. "Meeting?"

"The accounting meeting," Friday reported. "I reminded you three times already."

Tony's eyes went wide and he ran into the bedroom. "Shit, shit, shit."

Clint blinked and followed him. "So, later with the wet and naked fun times?"

Tony ran by, half dressed, and kissed Clint fleetingly. "Give me, fuck, four hours and we'll do Chinese and shower fun."

Clint watched him leave the suite. "I hate you sometimes, Friday."

"The feeling is mutual," Friday told him. "How do you think I feel knowing that you're going to abuse the shower like that?"

Clint raised his eyebrows. "And why do you care what we do to the shower?"

"Who do you think has to tell the cleaning lady that the shower needs an extra scrubbing?"

Clint winced. "Right, yeah. Okay. Point."

"And yet you're still going to abuse the shower later."

Clint grinned. "Of course. I'm looking forward to that."

"Dry off before I have to tell the cleaning lady that the carpet has suffered water damage."

~~~

Tony flopped down onto the couch and leaned into Clint with a soft whine. He'd lost his tie somewhere and the top three buttons of his shirt were undone. "This is definitely better than you wet and naked. Not going to lie."

Clint wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Kind of feeling offended here."

"It's not because of how you smell, though I am also kind of grateful you worked out and didn't shower," Tony admitted.

"Kinky and gross," Clint pointed out.

Tony grinned, no trace of shame. "Don't care. I like it."

Clint rolled his eyes. "I'm still unsure how this is better than shower time."

"It's just that after that stressful of a meeting, I can come home and you're here, waiting for me," Tony said quietly.

"Ain't moving in," Clint said, narrowing his eyes.

Tony huffed. "As if I wouldn't just show up at your building for cuddles. And don't tell anyone!"

Clint smiled. "Your secret is safe with me. I don't know about Friday though."

Tony sighed. "No secrets, man. None."

"We can go back to mine?"

Tony sat up. "No, thank you. Come on before you get any more weird ideas into your head."

Letting himself get pulled away from the living room, Clint asked, "What weird ideas?"

"Like your bathroom is big enough or has enough hot water for what I want to do to you in the shower."

"I think I should tell you that Friday hates it when you do this to the shower."

"Just shut up and get naked already, Barton."

~~~

A few weeks later, after Tony had left for a day of working in an actual office, Clint realized that not only is he regularly having sex with Tony Stark, but they're...dating. Sort of. He isn't even sure why or how, but they were.

Pathetically, it kind of summed up his life. Sex happened to him, sometimes without him knowing how it started. He enjoyed it and he never had any complaints, no one ever complained about him, but often, he didn't know how he could go from having a simple discussion about say, picking a lock, to having sex. And he doesn't know why Tony kept showing up at his place or why Clint kept visiting the Tower just to see Tony.

Again, though, it summed up his life. There he was, just minding his own business, and suddenly he's enemies with some Russian Mafia guys. Owning a building. And that wasn't even talking about anything else that was happening. Like sex with Tony Stark.

Clint remembered how it had started, remembered Tony bringing him back to SHIELD after the battle and Clint had stuck around while the armor had folded down and in and Tony stepped out of the way. Took the elevator up to the right floor, joking around and talking about how crazy even the not-so-mad scientists were getting, and oh, yeah, supply closets are great.

(Except for the fact that they are, in fact, full of supplies that aren't always quite safe. Especially if they're the supply closet for chem lab 3 at Harvard. Neither of them like to talk about it.)

And that was how that started. After that, it sort of kept happening. The dating, though? And yeah, he knows, everyone but everyone has told him that they're dating. He just...needed to get his head together to agree.

"It's because Stark is a playboy and you just like sex for the sake of it," Natasha said simply, stirring her soup to cool it down.

Clint frowned. "I'll agree that Tony is a playboy, but--"

"Don't weasel out of it," she interrupted. "Why do you think you often find yourself having sex with any random idiot that asks for help? I'm willing to bet you've had sex a few times with Stark because he asked for help blowing shit up."

"Hey, we needed to know if the new arrowheads were going to do their job instead of finishing off what the Chitauri didn't," he argued.

"And the time after that?"

"He wanted to test a new alloy against my toughest arrowheads."

She sighed. "And then?"

He blushed and looked down. He saw what might have been an eyeball--they were in some weird shady basement restaurant in the back end of nowhere, no one would want to be here, but yet somehow still in New York. An eyeball would not be out of the question.

"It might've been to see if those stupid little glowballs of doom really were that volatile," he admitted.

She raised an eyebrow. "Were they?"

"Unfortunately not," he sighed. He had hoped they were, but nope. Still, the fuck after that was rather explosive. Especially since they had been testing in the mad scientist's lab that the glowballs had been created in. That had been fun. Even when they had to make up something plausible when the SHIELD clean up crew had shown up.

"This is why you keep having sex with Stark," she said. "Two idiots with none of the common sense God gave a snail."

He propped his chin on his hand. "It's...regular sex. For the last..." He blinked.

"Year, yes, I know," she sighed. "Really. We all know."

"Sorry."

"I'm only sorry that it has continued on this long."

Clint poked the weird thing in his soup and it turned over. Yeah, that was totally an eyeball. "There's an eyeball in my soup."

"I have a testicle in mine," she replied thoughtfully. 

"Are we even sure we're still in New York?" 

She only smiled enigmatically to that. "So. You have just come to the realization that you are more than fuck buddies with the infamous Tony Stark and you're worried."

Moodily, he poked the eyeball. "More confused than worried, but more than fuck buddies? Where do you get that?"

"Are we having the same conversation still?"

"I'll be honest, I'm never ever sure that we're even speaking the same language. Conversations with you are the most confusing thing I've ever experienced."

"Thank you."

He put down his spoon and pushed the soup away. He'd eaten a lot of weird things in his day, but eyeballs were definitely on his "do not want to eat" list. She pointedly scooped up something unknown onto her spoon and ate it. He wrinkled his nose and she smirked.

"So, you and Stark," she said. "You are in a regular relationship."

"We are not."

"Are."

"Not."

"Are. I remember the last few times I stopped by to make sure you weren't doing something stupid--"

"You and Kate both."

"We have to, you realize. Otherwise you do stupid shit like ask Matt to help you take down the Russian Mob."

He smiled, remembering. "That was awesome though."

"Proves my point."

"Is there a point to all this?"

"You're dating Tony Stark. And you like it."

His head hit the table with a loud thud. "Fuck."

"It might work out this time. Clearly you two are okay with not being monogamous and not having a regular schedule, or even regular dates."

"Are you saying that my relationships failed because I'm not meant to fuck a singular person?"

"And because you refuse to have anything resembling a calendar."

"I don't want to be dating Tony Stark."

"I think you do."

"Don't."

"Pay my tab. We're done here."

"Naaat."

"No, Clint. You asked me--"

"I didn't! I only asked if you wanted to grab a bite after training baby agents all day."

"You asked me what was going on and I told you. It is not my fault you never listen."

He squinted his eyes. "You're going to sic Kate on me, aren't you?"

She left without saying anything more. He suddenly didn't want to go home.

~~~

Clint knew it. He just knew going home meant bad things. Usually. Mostly? Sometimes it was Nat or Kate waiting for him. Sometimes it was one of his tenants with a complaint about how their bathtub had fallen through the floor. (It hadn't happened yet, but he was sure some of the floors were about to fall through. He was going to call someone about that one day. He was.) Sometimes, it was the Russians waiting for him.

Today, though...today it was Phil Coulson with a folder.

"Do you guys just call each other when I do stupid shit?" Clint asked. "Wait, back track. When I'm about to do something stupid?"

"If you mean, do we have a sixth sense for when you're about to get in trouble, yes," Phil said.

Clint frowned. "That sounds ominous."

"It should be."

"I'm not sure I like you anymore."

"You do."

Clint made for the coffee maker. "What'd you do with Lucky?"

Phil smiled. "Jemma and Skye took him for a play date in the park. It's good for them."

"I don't think it's good for Lucky," Clint countered.

"Good training," Phil pointed out.

Clint half smiled. "Not that he needs more."

"All agents need regular training," Phil argued.

Clint sighed and started the coffee. "I know you're here for a reason and I'm also reasonably sure that it has to do with Tony."

Phil stood up and flipped through his phone. He held it out when he found what he wanted and Clint took it. It was...well. Damning was the first word he thought of. Interesting was the second. Fuck was his third. "And you've known about this for that long?"

"Earlier than that. I had hopes you would realize it sooner rather than later," Phil said. "You are very intelligent, Clint, and I thought you'd figure this out on your own."

Clint played with his empty cup and watched as the coffee pot slowly filled. "It's weird is all. I didn't...it was just sex and yeah, sometimes we hung out, but that was it. I mean, dating is supposed to include flowers and regular dates out and plans and conversations about feelings. Right?"

"Not all the time," Phil pointed out. "I think you and I are in a relationship, after a fashion, and we've never talked about it."

Clint blinked and raised an eyebrow. "You and I?"

Phil smirked. "For the last ten years by my reckoning."

Well, okay, yeah. Clint smiled, remembering. "Good times, those." His phone pinged.

Phil pocketed his own phone. "I have to go collect some intel from a drop. The girls will drop Lucky off tonight. I'll see you soon."

Clint took a kiss and poured his coffee. "Definitely."

~~~

"So you and the mister aren't talking?" Bucky asked as he sighted a pigeon.

"Me and Nat aren't talking," Clint clarified.

Bucky laughed. "Gotcha."

The bullet hit the brick under the pigeon and the pigeon jumped a mile high and landed instead on the fire escape below. This was why Bucky and Clint got along. Some days, you just needed to scare some birds. After all, they could mistake you for a statue and shit all over you. Clint, wisely, had stopped keeping track. It happened when you were on a stake out or were waiting ever so patiently for the target to get into sight.

"Still, you could've gone and hung out with Tony," Bucky pointed out.

"Why am I friends with you people?" Clint bemoaned. "All this gossip."

"It's what we do," Bucky mused aloud.

Clint frowned and aimed for a couple of punks trying to hustle a woman on her way home. One quick shot and that was them put to rights. "They do know this is where the Winter Soldier patrols, right?"

"Upstarts," Bucky told him. "I've seen them in and out, grew up elsewhere. Just moved in after a few days of scouting apartments. They'll learn."

Clint smirked. "It's kind of funny, if you think about it. I mean, there's me in Bed-Stuy and you over here. Daredevil in Hell's Kitchen."

Bucky knocked into his shoulder. "You name the place, someone is guarding it."

"Can you imagine if someone big tried to take Manhattan now?" Clint asked. "I'm not talking like muggers or a big thing, like aliens. But some idiot trying to make a name for himself."

"Friday would launch their happy ass back to their lab," Bucky agreed. "God, I love that program."

"She's one of a kind, that's for sure," Clint mused. "I mean, don't get me wrong. I have a soft spot for Jarvis, but Friday is a whole other thing. Did I tell you what she said when someone tried to shoot Tony in the back?"

"Share the gossip!" Bucky begged.

"She said," Clint tried to breathe through his giggles, "She said, 'Not today.'"

Bucky burst out laughing and it only got worse when Steve opened the door to the stairwell.

"What?" he asked, looking between them.

"N-not today," Clint wheezed.

Steve sighed. "Come on, you idiots. Dinner's ready."

Wiping his eyes, Bucky waved his other hand. "Be in soon. Another minute, okay?"

Steve nodded his head and left. Clint stared at the door. "Nat said I'm not the sort to be with just one person at a time."

"Happens," Bucky said. This was why Clint liked him; he could follow Clint's conversations without making it into something else.

"So Steve and you? I mean, you've told him about your other relationships?"

"Wouldn't lie to my fella," Bucky said, sounding old and wise. "You have a relationship like that, you have to talk. We're not like you or Tony, Clint. We talk about other lovers before it happens, not that it has in a while. Not since the registration act. But you and Tony? You're different."

"I don't think relationships can work like that," Clint said quietly.

Bucky hummed thoughtfully. "Think about it like this. What would happen if you asked Tony to stop sleeping around with other people? Or tell you who he's going to fuck on any given night."

Oh, Clint knows exactly what would happen. 

"So, knowing that...Clint, my wonderful ex-fuck buddy, knowing how he would react, do you think you can keep dating him with the relationship you guys have?"

~~~

"We're dating," Clint announced when Tony showed up to his apartment at three in the morning. Neither of them had been sleeping. Tony was covered in grease and Clint was bleary-eyed and wondering if now was the best time to check if the pipes in the basement were getting too rusty. (Insomnia was interesting when you were alone. Not that it wasn't interesting when you had roommates, but alone? That was a whole other level of interesting.) Everything else coupled with Tony showing up had Clint wondering if now was a good time to see if Luke was awake to find some trouble to stir up. A good ol' fashioned fistfight would be good right about now. It was better than the look Tony was giving him.

"I'm pretty sure we both have to agree before a date happens," Tony said finally. "And didn't we agree that we're not dating?"

Clint closed the front door and started up the coffee pot. It was a toss up right now to see which of them was going to drink it straight from the pot this time. Maybe he should get a second one, just for any future fights over it.

"No, see, the thing is, we have been dating," Clint pointed out. "Bucky and Nat both agreed. And Kate when I saw her on patrol last night."

Tony blinked and pulled out his phone. "Friday, run through all of the past...how long have we been fucking?"

"A year," Clint answered, still in shock. He knew it had been a year, but still. A year.

Tony shook his head, looking shocked too. "Run through the feeds you have of Clint and I for the last year."

"What am I looking for?" she asked, sounding curious and upset at once. Clint wondered if she had been doing something else when Tony had asked her. It was highly likely. Darcy would still be awake on the west coast, after all.

"See if the patterns match those of people who are dating," Tony told her.

She made a noise not unlike a raspberry. "Don't need to. According to Ms. Potts and how often you're here--Hi, Clint!--"

"Hey, Friday," he called back cheerfully.

"You have been dating Clint for the last eight months," Friday finished. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I was in the middle of helping Darcy with something very important."

Tony blinked at his phone as it went dark. "I still have no idea why I haven't changed her out with another A.I."

His phone vibrated warningly. 

Clint laughed.

"Eight months?" Tony asked Clint.

Clint shrugged. "There's been a lot of beer and pizza. And that bar down in Queens."

"The island."

"Las Vegas."

"I still have no idea what happened there. Why did you bring it up?"

Clint looked around for his phone and skimmed through the photos on it before he found the right one. "Phil gave this to me after I talked with Nat."

It was a photo of them in front of a fountain, kissing while a group of Baby Boomer tourists whistled from the side lines. It wasn't the sort of kiss that said 'take me back to the hotel room'. It was a 'bend your partner' kind of kiss. Clint had vague memories that Tony had tried, but they'd ended up in the fountain. (It was why they had smelled like a pool, which was a lot less interesting than what either of them had hoped for.)

Tony scrubbed his hands over his face. "Do you...I mean, don't get me wrong, but if there's anyone not me who isn't good at dating, it's you."

Clint winced, but he knew what Tony meant. "I know."

"So?"

Clint shrugged. "I like what we do. The fucking and the rest when we aren't fucking."

"I...don't do monogamy," Tony pointed out.

"I'm starting to think I'm the same," Clint said. It was weird, having spoken the words. One thing to have thought it, another to say it. "I mean, sex just sort of happens to me."

Tony smirked. "And don't I know it. I like that about you. Sex is sex and you, my friend, are one of the only people I've met who shares that philosophy."

"I don't think of it as a philosophy, more like a part of my fucked up life," Clint argued, frowning.

Tony blinked. "Okay, back up a little. You have been okay with all the sex so far, right? I haven't been taking advantage of you?"

"Do I look like a guy who would let anyone do anything to him that he didn't want?" Clint countered with a raised eyebrow.

"Not the point," Tony argued. "Just because you're 200 pounds plus of solid, field-trained muscle does not mean you can't get scared shitless enough to not say no. I mean, maybe something happened in your childhood that means you just go along with what people want and you don't think about it later, that you could have said no."

Clint is squinting at him. "Weird."

"I have heard it happens."

"No, no. Weird that you knew that."

"Hey, I'm not entirely self-obsessed. Sex is healthy and important and if all parties want to make it good, they should know all the things about it."

Clint leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. "You research sex."

"Occasionally," Tony answered nonchalantly.

Clint debated for a long minute about whether he should say what he wanted to. In the end, he went with it. Wasn't sure why, but it was a rather specific point to a question that could have been just one thing. "For yourself?"

Tony smiled, all fake charm. "Of course."

"So you can reassure me, too, that you've always wanted to have sex with me?"

Tony sighed, the smile fading away. "You're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for."

"I've been told that."

Tony clapped his hands together. "All right. Serious discussion time. You and I--we're dating, we're poly, we're okay with this. Yes?"

"Yes. Apparently."

They stared at each other across the kitchen. The coffee maker burbled. Lucky farted. Tony's phone lit up with something.

"I'm not sure how it started," Clint said finally.

Tony let out a heavy breath. "Oh, thank god. I thought I was the only one."

"It's the story of my life. Shit happens that I never signed up for."

"But we're good?"

"Way good."

"Sex? Now?"

"Yes, please."

~~~

Tony wrinkled his nose and poked Clint's shoulder. "You need air conditioning."

Clint, face down in a pillow and dozing, pointed to the A/C unit that had been working until another street fight led to an arrow in it. It's a thing that happened around the building. Kate said that he needed more practice. Nat only said that he should learn to mark his territory better so the idiots who started the trouble kept away from his home. (Her tone implied that maybe pissing everywhere might help. Clint still wasn't sure if she was joking or not.) Clint...tried to let people know to not fuck around in the neighborhood, but they just liked coming around, starting trouble.

"Well, either you let me replace the damn thing or I am never coming over here during the summer again," Tony pointed out. "Fuck, let me fix the heating, too. And the pipes--one of your tenants was griping about rusty shower water when I came in."

"Do not renovate my building, Stark," Clint hissed, turning his head. "Touch it and I will get Friday's help to fuck over your building."

Tony glared. "Look, all I'm saying is to do some basic home maintenance. Yeah? Nothing fancy--just get things to the way that they're meant to be."

Clint shoved his shoulder. "I'll fix the A/C, okay? Christ, you're high maintenance. Worse than my building."

Tony thought that over and slowly smirked. "Worse than your tenants?"

"Nope," Clint smirked.

Tony pouted. Clint pounced.

It was all okay.


End file.
